Category Archives: Charlie

Reasons I love Being Single: The Picker Edition

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Dear Ladies,

Don’t settle. It’s far better to be single than to wind up with a DB.

Ugh, WHY do men do this to themselves...HIDEOUS.

Love,

Bee

At 26, many people look at you with puppy dog eyes, or give you the “awww, you’ll meet someone. hang in there” when they hear that you’re STILL SINGLE.

I’m sorry, is it not 2011? Or did I miss the memo that we are all settling down and getting married at 15 now?

I don’t need sympathy, sad looks, and I don’t need old ladies setting me up on blind dates in an attempt to fix my single “problem.” (However, if you know someone who looks like Ryan Gosling, or the guy below, I am more than willing to overlook my hesitations towards blind dates. Call me).

yes please, i'll take two.

One of the main reasons I kind of enjoy being single is that I am the picker. Yes, the picker. Sounds gross, but it’s actually pretty desirable.

Here are 5 reasons why being single, and therefore being the picker trumps dating.

1. I get to pick what I want to do. No more sitting at the race tracks (not my thing, unless Ricky Bobby is making a guest appearance, I’m not feeling it).

Shake N Bake, bro. Shake N Bake.

No more Car shows (yeah I’ve dated a lot of car guys). No more concerts of music I can’t stand. I don’t think I’ll ever understand metal. And i like A LOT of genres of music, very eclectic taste. Metal however…never going to happen.

hahaha, pretend this is heavy metal. because it makes me laugh.

I pick what I want to do, when I want to do it. End of Story.

2. I get to pick what I eat. I’m not a super picky eater, but I’m sorry, if you want to surprise me with a “romantic” (<– I use that term lightly) dinner…please don’t include disgusting things like…any food involving raw ANYTHING (gag), bacon, or mushrooms. (Easily the worst two smells IN THE WORLD). Yes, I hate bacon. Deal with it. It smells like death, and burning pigs. Seriously.

Leaning tower of vomit.

3. I get to pick the movie. DEAR LORD this one is a biggie. I hate hate hate dumb action movies. I am not, by any means, saying I have cultured tasted in movies. My top 3 all time favorites include: The Sandlot, Super Troopers, and The Sweetest Thing.

I want to be a highway patrol cop when I grow up.

So I recognize that I do not have the best taste in the classics, but I know what I don’t like. And that is DUMB action movies. As the picker, I don’t have to ever watch those shitty flicks. Winning.

4. I get to pick my nose. Yep, I said it. As a single lady, living alone, if I have something up there, I never have to worry that my boyfriend will ever catch me diggin’ for gold. Charlie may see me, but he pretends not to…

That's right. Look away. You didn't see anything...

5. And as the picker, I get to pick my friends. I think we’ve all dated someone with DUMB friends. It happens. It’s horrible, but it happens.

As the picker, I choose who I hang out with, and generally that means I enjoy my company.

So, you see, I don’t mind being single very much at all!

This entire post makes me sound like a giant bitch. But in my defense, I think I gave some level of warning with my blog title, no?

Oh, I picked that too 😉

Later!

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Muffin[tops], Pancakes, Races??

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A little bitchy advice,

Dear women everywhere,

Muffin tops. NO. I can’t explain how much better everyone would look if they would just purchase the right size pants. Even skinny skinny girls can look disgusting if they try to squeeze into pants that are CLEARLY too small for them. I hate muffin tops with a passion. They are completely avoidable!

Thank you,

Bee

Moving on, yesterday was awesome and productive!

I woke up, with mega bed head, gave Charlie some mommy time (I swear he is not in pain in this photo. He’s cuddling my face. And he smells horrible, btw).

Then it was off to Grandma’s (Mini-Mom’s) house to wake up the munchkins and have some pancakes!

Wake up Penny!

“Um hell no, lady.”

I have pancakes….

“Why didn’t you say so?!”

So once all three of them were awake, we hung out for a bit and waited for the G-Rents to get there.

Mini-Mom was relaxing on her gorgeous porch,

While we waited, Penny found the baby powder bottle in my Mom’s gym bag. Hahha! Messy, but funny 🙂

G-Rents finally got there, and we began the delish feast of blueberry pancakes, melon, home made potatoes with onions, and of course a little oatbran!

It didn’t take long for the kids to find the hose again, and some splish splashin’ went down:

Penny was wearing a pair of her brother’s shorts (from when he was younger) and was rocking a sag. Hey, at least it’s not a muffin top!!

Before we knew it, my sister got there to take the kids home (and bring Griffin back to sleep away camp for another week. He LOVES it).

I went home to get some cleaning done before yoga. I was mega productive. Cleaned the kitchen AND scrubbed the refrigerator, did the bathrooms, and magic eraser-ed some of the walls.

I needed a little pre-yoga fuel so I make a BBQ Hummus Tortilla Pizza. (exactly what it sounds like, a tortilla with hummus bbq sauce and a little motz on top. Toss it in the oven until crisp, nom).

Yoga was awesome yesterday. I felt good the whole class. I was able to do each pose to my max (with the exception of toe stand on my right ankle), and just felt goooooooood.

Challenge Day 7!!

Yoga: Feeling great, some days have been challenging with the heat/humidity so high here in CT, but loving it nonetheless.

Booze: NO BOOZE all weekend. Impressed? Yeah, you should be.

Veggie: Yum. I never thought this one would be too hard, I love vegetables, grains, and even tofu.

Looking forward to completing the “challenges.”

AND! I am considering…..THE HARTFORD HALF MARATHON! YIKES!

While I haven’t been running much (ankle twisted/summer heat/yoga practice) I am itching to get back to a regular running schedule. This lil guy is dying for some attention:

So I am 12 weeks out. That’s kind of perfect for me to start a Higdon 12 week Intermediate Program…

I think I will feel it out, but start training this week. If my ankle is acting up or I am feeling too burned out from yoga and training, maybe I won’t do the half. Sometimes races turn me into a crazy training machine and I overdo it. Soooo we’ll see. But I know I am missing my runs, and if I follow a training program it will keep me from overdoing it too much! 🙂 We’ll see…!

Happy Monday. That’s an effin’ oxymoron….

I’m wicked cool…

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A little advice for this fine Saturday:

 

Dear Pretty Girls,

Stop stop stop self-tanning yourself orange, bleaching your hair white, and ruining your natural beauty. It is a little bit scary to look at, and I am scared to think of what you will look like in 30 years…

Love,

Bee

 

Anywhoooooo. So how was everyone’s Friday night? Mine was…less than exhilarating. But it was really nice to relax and do nothing! I pretty much hung out with Charlie after yoga, caught up on some dvr’d So You Think You Can Dance (best.show.eva), and went to bed at 10 pm. Yep, I am wicked cool.

Here is Charlie boy, looking all tiny and like a puppy,

Don’t be fooled by my trick photography, Charlie is a giant teddy bear beast of a lab.

Uh Charlie, close your mouth…and legs. Rude! Here I am trying to show the internet peeps how big and handsome you are, and this is the pose you give me? Rude.

Lets wrestle this out…

Dude, cut you talons nails. (Anyone else have a dog who HATES you cutting their nails? It’s nearly impossible for me to get Charlie’s done. I try to get 1 or 2 in if I catch him sleeping, but then he wakes up all mad at me. And at 90ish pounds, he can definitely take me in a wrestling match).

Well my super exciting night of sitting around with Charlie was good for my 30-day challenges. No boozin’ and now I’m up and heading to 8am yoga in a bit. I’m all fueled up with some delicious Chocolate PB Banana Oatbran 🙂

Tonight is the sleep over with the munchkins! So lots of playing, lots of laughing, and hopefully some vegetarian friendly food 🙂 I’ll take pics!

Everyone have fun plans for this weekend?

 

If you can’t see it, it isn’t there…or something…

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Good morning. Is it Friday yet? Err….hey, at least it’s not Monday, right?

Important advice from the Bitchy Bee:

Dear “Grown ups” (aka people like me who dress that part from 9-5 in order to receive a paycheck),

It is totally acceptable to wear a shirt with a stain on it to work, as long as you cover it up.

Love,

Bee

As I put on my work costume this morning – yeah i just said costume – I looked down to realize there were TWO stains on my white tank top (which I quickly remembered were from some tasty red wine this past weekend, woops. One too many? Impossible). Then I came to the conclusion that no one but me will know those stains are there. Well….and now anyone reading this post too. Shh, don’t tell the others.

Yesterday was a roller coaster of a Tuesday. Usually weekdays are either awesome, or shittAy. Yesterday was both.

I started my day with my yummy Oatbran (Bob’s Red Mill Rocks my world. Just sayin’). As per usual, I mixed in some protein powder (vanilla whey).

For lunch I had some bangin’ pasta. You NEED to try these noodles:

These “noodles” are delicious, 20 calories a serving (so 40 calories because the bag isn’t that big!), and tastes/feels like pasta. I topped them with some three cheese marinara sauce, and some shredded mozzarella. YUM!

For an easy afternoon snack I munched on a Tortilla with roasted veggie hummus. Hummus = crack. GET IN MUH BELLY.

In between all the deliciousness, I went home around noon to walk Mr. Charlie. Unfortunately, he had a lovely surprise for me. A STINKY surprise on the basement floor. Thanks, beyotch.

Don’t be mad at me Mom. I had to GO!

Dammit, Charlie, stop being so cute so I can be pissed at you!

So after cleaning up that lovely afternoon pile o’ shit, I was back to work and then off to get my yoga on!

Last night’s Bikram was a great class. I had been away for 4 days, so I was wondering how I’d feel. I felt awesome. Despite the fact that we’re in the middle of a humidity/heat wave, the room felt great and I kicked butt. I think I like Bikram because I’m naturally very flexible and I love being “good” at something. That, coupled with the redonk amount of mental clarity you get from concentrating for 90 minutes. Duh, winning.

After yoga I rushed home to change (not shower, mind you…woops), and met my dad for dinner at Vernon Diner. In high school we all used to refer to it as “VD.” If that doesn’t get your appetite going, I don’t know what will….gross.

I had an egg white omelette with cheddar, broccoli, and onion and wheat toast with strawberry jelly. YUM.

After a nice time with my dad, I went home and did dishes, my sink was overflowing like WOAH, vacuumed up some Charlie hair, and crassssssssshed. Zzzzzzz.