Reasons I love Being Single: The Picker Edition

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Dear Ladies,

Don’t settle. It’s far better to be single than to wind up with a DB.

Ugh, WHY do men do this to themselves...HIDEOUS.

Love,

Bee

At 26, many people look at you with puppy dog eyes, or give you the “awww, you’ll meet someone. hang in there” when they hear that you’re STILL SINGLE.

I’m sorry, is it not 2011? Or did I miss the memo that we are all settling down and getting married at 15 now?

I don’t need sympathy, sad looks, and I don’t need old ladies setting me up on blind dates in an attempt to fix my single “problem.” (However, if you know someone who looks like Ryan Gosling, or the guy below, I am more than willing to overlook my hesitations towards blind dates. Call me).

yes please, i'll take two.

One of the main reasons I kind of enjoy being single is that I am the picker. Yes, the picker. Sounds gross, but it’s actually pretty desirable.

Here are 5 reasons why being single, and therefore being the picker trumps dating.

1. I get to pick what I want to do. No more sitting at the race tracks (not my thing, unless Ricky Bobby is making a guest appearance, I’m not feeling it).

Shake N Bake, bro. Shake N Bake.

No more Car shows (yeah I’ve dated a lot of car guys). No more concerts of music I can’t stand. I don’t think I’ll ever understand metal. And i like A LOT of genres of music, very eclectic taste. Metal however…never going to happen.

hahaha, pretend this is heavy metal. because it makes me laugh.

I pick what I want to do, when I want to do it. End of Story.

2. I get to pick what I eat. I’m not a super picky eater, but I’m sorry, if you want to surprise me with a “romantic” (<– I use that term lightly) dinner…please don’t include disgusting things like…any food involving raw ANYTHING (gag), bacon, or mushrooms. (Easily the worst two smells IN THE WORLD). Yes, I hate bacon. Deal with it. It smells like death, and burning pigs. Seriously.

Leaning tower of vomit.

3. I get to pick the movie. DEAR LORD this one is a biggie. I hate hate hate dumb action movies. I am not, by any means, saying I have cultured tasted in movies. My top 3 all time favorites include: The Sandlot, Super Troopers, and The Sweetest Thing.

I want to be a highway patrol cop when I grow up.

So I recognize that I do not have the best taste in the classics, but I know what I don’t like. And that is DUMB action movies. As the picker, I don’t have to ever watch those shitty flicks. Winning.

4. I get to pick my nose. Yep, I said it. As a single lady, living alone, if I have something up there, I never have to worry that my boyfriend will ever catch me diggin’ for gold. Charlie may see me, but he pretends not to…

That's right. Look away. You didn't see anything...

5. And as the picker, I get to pick my friends. I think we’ve all dated someone with DUMB friends. It happens. It’s horrible, but it happens.

As the picker, I choose who I hang out with, and generally that means I enjoy my company.

So, you see, I don’t mind being single very much at all!

This entire post makes me sound like a giant bitch. But in my defense, I think I gave some level of warning with my blog title, no?

Oh, I picked that too šŸ˜‰

Later!

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