True Story: I was addicted to exercise.

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Dear facebookers,

If you insist on updating you status every 5 minutes, please please please put something interesting at least ONCE in a while.

remove from news feed? yes.

I do not care that you are:

– Super sleepy today
– Watching TV
– Driving to Work
– Sitting at my Desk
– Dealing with a headache
– Missing my sweetheart

And probably 99% of the other mundane bs you put up there. I think more of you should start lying in your status updates. Keep it interesting:

“Woah, waking up with a sore butt and no memory of last night is a CRAZY was to start a Wednesday.”

“I just punched my mom. WHAT”

“I just met Ryan Reynolds. HE GAVE ME HIS NUMBER!! AHH”

I feel that I may be less inclined to block you from my news feed, and may even comment on your shit if you started lying. Just sayin’.

yes. yes. yes.

Thanks,

Bee

Sports and physical activity help me be less of a bitch.

I will not.

Seriously.

Over my lifetime I have been involved in many different sports/activities/whathaveyou. And I like to think that this involvement has helped keep my bitchiness, anxiety, depression, etc (insert any bad feelings one may experience over 26 years of living) in check.

Growing up I played basketball, softball, and have always been involved in dance. (<– that was my favorite, BY FAR). Once I entered high school I decided to try running, and went out for the cross-country team. While I was NOT a good runner by any means going into freshman year, I found that I did in fact love running, and the girls on the team were awesome! Some of my best memories in hs are with the CC team πŸ™‚

Yes, we do run for fun. Thanks for asking.

In college, well I did pretty much NO activity in college, other than fill my PE requirement with a “yoga” class that we did not take seriously, and a dance class that was a breeze. Did I mention I chained smoked in college? Yeah I know…gross!! I’ll discuss college life more in another post soon!

Post college I fell back in love with running. I also got very into interval training, boxing, found crossfit, and finally found Bikram Yoga (<– my current love. I need a date…pronto!)

 

That is obviously EXACTLY what I look like when I box. Duh.

Each activity served as a challenge as well as a release for me. Stressful day? Go punch it out at boxing! Too much shit on my mind? Go for a long run and think it out. Obsessing over something stupid? Go do a yoga class to clear your mind. Each sport has served as a great way for me to overcome emotional baggage in my life.

nothing like 6am WODs at crossfit...

But at what point does a love of exercise become an obsession?

There was absolutely a point, and not that long ago, where I was an exercise-addict. I was absolutely insane about it. If I missed a workout, I was anxious and irritable and would find a way to fit in another hour in the next days workout. It was NOT FUN.

Was I the “thinnest” I’ve ever been? Yeah, sure. Was I happy? Hell no!

Exercise became a means of control for me. I was spending 2 hours a day working out, and the other hours thinking about working out, planning the workout, and scheduling my social life (what little I had) around my workout. It was exhausting. Seriously, I was tired ALL THE TIME. I was eating about 2500 calories a day so that I had the energy to perform well at each workout, but that was not nearly enough and my body weight was way too low, and my energy levels blew.

But I am le tired.

Last October a family member of mine went through a very serious crisis and I was asked to take them in while they got back on their feet. I knew I had a problem when my first thought was “how will I fit my workouts in if someone is living here? I can’t do a 5 am workout with someone sleeping upstairs…” That was the turning point for me. Was that seriously what I was worried about? What was WRONG with me? I felt horrible, ashamed. I knew right then and there I had a problem.


While the circumstances that caused this realization were horrible, it opened my eyes to the important things in life. Friends, family, relationships. All of these things are more important than running a 6 minute mile or getting in a killer kettle bell workout.

Today, after seeing that family member turn their life around for the better (and they are happily back at their home now), I have a much healthier outlook on exercise, and life in general. I will always believe in the importance of physical activity, but now I understand that it is merely ONE part of the life puzzle. As you know I am currently in a 30 day Bikram Challenge (Day 18, score!), so that is the majority of my workout “regimen” as of late. 90 minutes a day is enough for me, thank you very much! However, normally I try to get 3 sessions of cardio and 2-3 sessions of interval style workouts involving weights/body-weight movements. And if that doesn’t happen one week, I don’t worry. There is enough to worry about. Not hitting the gym one day is not on the top of my list. My friends, family, and overall happiness are!!

My sister, me, and the diva Penny

Have you ever dealt with an exercise addiction? Do you still currently?

When did you realize you had an obsession?

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3 responses »

  1. Haha your first part about Facebook statuses made me laugh!

    When my friends/family try to plan things, I often think that exact thing “how will I fit my workout in?” – and I realized that skipping ONE day, or putting in the extra effort tomorrow won’t kill me. You’re right, there are definitely more important things!

  2. this is a great story. Well, its great that you grew from it. I think a lot of people struggle with this. Its an outlet or a way to hide from something. Its a fear of the unknown if we stop! But your heart is way bigger and thank god for that!

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