The three B’s: Babies, butts, boning.

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Dear rape vans,

Get a little more creative. I can’t imagine that “Free Candy” is cutting it these days.

Lame.

I mean, maybe if you said “Free Diamonds” or “Free trip to Cancun!” you might get some attention/visitors. But come on, bro, candy? LAME.

Love, Bee

Yesterday was pretty kick ass. I saw one of my best friends, had an amazing yoga session, and hung out at my sisters before doing stupid grown-upy things like grocery shopping and putting away laundry.

So, as I just mentioned, I got to see one of my best friends from high school, her awesome fiancé (they’ve been together since Sophomore year of college, he’s a great guy, we all approve), and their two adorable munchinks, 5 years old and 8 months. I LOVE babies. But more importantly, I love babies that are not mine.

I got to thinking, it is a much better deal to be an aunt/let your friends pop out a bunch of babies than to have kids of your own.

I have two arguments as to why. They’re simple, but pretty damn solid:

1. When they cry, I get to give them back.

This thing is mocking me!

2. My ass is the only ass I have to wipe.

That pretty much sums it up.

I considered running this morning. The end.

Not today, my friend. Not today.

Then I got ready for work after hitting the snooze button. Today my hair looks like that of a 40 year old tight-ass. Fail.

what IS that?

In other news, I am looking forward to tomorrow night because me and GRose are going to the movies to see Crazy,Stupid Love. SCORE! It looks awesome. And I totally want to bone Ryan Gosling.

Marry me?

Also, I saw THIS over the weekend.

Uh...why?

I want to specifically point out that I do NOT want to bone the owner of that gem.

So to reiterate my bone list:

Ryan Gosling: Yes

Driver (who I can only assume looks just like Dog the Bounty Hunter): NO.

What, you no likely the mullet?

Questions:

How was your weekend?

Awesome, duh.

Did you get any good runs/workouts in? Are you a morning person?

– Two sweaty and amazing yoga sessions. Wicked small classes so it was fun to get one on one attention/pointers from the teachers.

Happy Monday, Bitches! 🙂

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3 responses »

  1. oh ya, being the aunt is WAY BETTER!! and let me know how that movie is. I want to see it.
    40 yr tight ass? no way, i’d say stunning working woman!
    😉

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